Often I have typed out my thoughts, like a conversation between me and my computer, so I can revisit and reflect upon them. An act I that has become a habit due to my study towards a teaching degree. Yet, I have avoided posting them on this blog because I deemed sharing such thoughts unnecessary – until I remembered that I had set this blog up to include ‘Poetry, Short Stories and Thoughts from the Mind.’
So far, I have really added none of these ‘thoughts’ of mine except in some of my poetry.
That is a good thing right?
When I set up this blog I had a vision of a space where
I could build up my confidence in writing again, and most importantly myself. I didn’t expect people to follow it, to care about what I have written because I was so used to thinking negatively about myself. That negative thinking is a habit I have been slowly breaking and my confidence in my writing and myself has grown significantly since starting this blog and making other changes in my life. Though I should mention I have been in the process of changing myself for the past five years: a decision I came too after going to counselling about my panic attacks (which ended up me acknowledging my anxieties and my childhood/teenage years and allowed me to begin healing and creating a better me, by making changes and accepting the pieces people saw as “different/not normal” – the person I wanted to be)… this is my journey though, the path that I walk. When I gave up trying to fit in with the crowd and please everyone, I found my happiness.
One new change I have made recently is to put my work out their to “be judged”. I was always interested in entering poetry competitions yet avoided them because of the fear of rejection and my belief that I just wasn’t that good so why put myself out there to get my feelings hurt. So I entered my first poetry competition the other month, it is run locally and while I think my poem will not place, I will allow myself hope. If there are people out there that like the work I place on my blog – thank you all by the way – then I must be doing something good. What entering the competition has done though is give me access to – which I consider to be the important part – the poetry workshop the next day (very important). Aside from the English classes I had taken up until 5th form, I have had no other lessons in creative writing – something I have recently been looking at changing. Learning is life-long after all, it never stops and I enjoy the pursuit of learning new knowledge, seeing and understanding different perspectives. Diversity is beautiful.
What is really cool though, and what kind of sparked me into writing this while post, is that the other day I reached 50+ followers on my blog. To me, that is a lot of people. So thank you all for choosing to follow Tales from the Greywatcher. I hope you enjoy the future poems, photos, thoughts and short stories that will appear here.